Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
