she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
