The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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