hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
