butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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