he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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