I heard we made out
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
