last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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