The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
