D3 body, D1 cock
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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