I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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