did you get engaged???
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize