i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
