It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize