when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
