Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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