i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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