I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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