Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
