I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
