I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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