Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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