Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
