Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We are all done wearing pants today
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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