@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
