U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
