I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
How external is "for external use only"?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
