Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
