But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
