I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
