If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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