I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize