I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
