there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
two words...techno handjob
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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