She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
