well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
