I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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