remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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