yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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