doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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