I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
