just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize