Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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