Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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