i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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