That's intense
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
