hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
