Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
