SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
