we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
