I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
