shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
