i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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