Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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