I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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