i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
