Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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