it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize