I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
