Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize