The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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