Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
