TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
