If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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